COWS: Destroying The World

Our atmosphere is slowly going away. Why? Cow farts, that's why. I know, it sounds silly. But it's very true. You see, cow farts have an invisible gas called methane. This methane is killing the atmosphere. Now, I have a somewhat crazy proposition to fix this deadly problem. Now, we'll have to dig out an EXTREMELY large pasture underground, probably the size of China. Underneath China. Anyway, after digging, we will have to install a simulated sun, and plant grass EVERYWHERE. Then there will be those milking machines installed too. After that, we will transport ALL the cows into this facility. If they don't all fit we will proceed with the appropriate procedure for turning cows into steak. There will be a tube system that allows us humans to get down into the pasture to retrieve all of our goods. If the methane becomes unbearable, another system will be installed to retrieve the  goods for us. As for the methane, if we don't get it out of the room all the cows will die, so each cow will have a fart collector attached to its butt, where all the methane will gather. As soon as they are full, the methane will go up the tube attached to the collector and into gas stations and methane will be used as the world's replacement oil because it is very flammable. If this doesn't work then....well...Steak Party???

BUTTONS!!!

I was....about six years old. I had my chocolate brown eyes full of hope, and a head of curly brown-black hair. It was Easter, and I was up bright and early to go and find Easter Eggs. My brothers and I ran all over our house, squealing with delight. Chocolate bunnies and jellybeans later, it was time to go to our Grandma's house for supper. I slowly retreated to my room to get dressed. First I brushed my teeth, the taste of toothpaste not contrasting well with the lingering taste of candy. I then proceeded to brush my tangled hair. THAT was my least favorite part. I then ran over to my closet and threw open the door. There it was. My special, never-worn pink Easter day dress. I giggled with delight as I put it on. It was thoroughly sequined, so I sparkled whenever I walked. The bubblegum-pink fabric felt smooth against my skin. I then put on my light brown cardigan and ran to my parents' room. They smiled as they saw me and gave me a big hug. We then got into our minivan and took off! As we were driving along, I started playing with the buttons on my jacket. Button, unbutton. Button, unbutton. We finally arrived at my Grandma's house. As I ran to give her a hug, the button popped of my cardigan! I stopped running and scrambled to find it on the driveway. I spotted it out of the corner of my eye and picked it up. Then I ran quickly over to my Mother and handed her the button. And that is when I learned to NOT play with the buttons on your jacket.

Exploration of.........SPACE!!!

Have you ever gone star-gazing? Wondered about the stars and the planets? Maybe even thought about aliens and spaceships? Scientists are thinking too. They study our universe and make incredible discoverers. We might even find alien life one day! Studying space has many benefits, such as finding out more about the place where we live. This might also come in handy if the universe is ever in trouble, like a star explosion. If we know why and how it happens, we can better prepare ourselves for survival. It will also help if the Earth gets overcrowded, we can expand to other plants that are suitable for life.This of course will take time, which is a downfall. Important scientists will die, and with them will die valuable knowledge.

Baby's First Words!!!

I was babysitting my little sister for an hour. BORING. I soo want to go to the mall. But noooo I have to stay home with Amanda. Bleg. She's like 3 years old and she can't even read! SO whatever. I'm just leaving her in her playpen and chilling in my room. I get like 10 minutes of peaceful texting when she wanders up. Ugh she must have climbed out of her playpen. Again. I'm reading The Hunger Games, so naturally, monkey see monkey do, she grabs The Princess Diaries from my desk. I sigh and continue reading. She can't read anyway, so why bother? A few minutes later, she taps me and shows me the book. "What, Amanda?" I growl. She points to a paragraph and says, "princess!!!" I drop my book and look at her. Did she just read? She points again and says, "queen!" I gasped. I picked her up and gave her a hug. "You are the smartest baby EVER!" I exclaimed. Then I put her down and called my mom. THIS would be news.

Babysitting at it's best.

I sighed as I pushed open the door to my neighbor's house. She's the craziest lady ever! She makes it a point to irritate me and my brother every moment of her life. So why am I going to her house? She has a pet chimpanzee that needs to be babysat. Now, mind you, I'm not doing this by choice. She's paying me 50 bucks an hour, if I do a good job. Considering the fact that I'd be babysitting for 5 hours, and that I need a new wardrobe, I had to take the job. I stepped into her smelly living room and saw her sitting on the couch. "Hi Miss Renmose..." I said through my teeth. She looked up. "Oh hello Amanda. Ready to babysit?" I nodded. "Good." And with that, she got up and left, without leaving me any instructions or anything. I had expected as much. I crept into her kitchen to find the chimp rampaging the fridge! "Ohhh crap." He looked up and leaped at me. I screamed and blacked out.

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I awoke in the ER 5 weeks later. I lifted my head and looked at my mom. "Wha- What happened?" I asked. "That witch Miss Renmose's chimp attacked you, and you had to get plastic surgery." I looked into nearby mirror and screamed.






I was hideous! I could never go to school again! My life was OVER! And it was all because of Miss Remnose's chimp. Someday, I swear, I will get revenge.