COWS: Destroying The World

Our atmosphere is slowly going away. Why? Cow farts, that's why. I know, it sounds silly. But it's very true. You see, cow farts have an invisible gas called methane. This methane is killing the atmosphere. Now, I have a somewhat crazy proposition to fix this deadly problem. Now, we'll have to dig out an EXTREMELY large pasture underground, probably the size of China. Underneath China. Anyway, after digging, we will have to install a simulated sun, and plant grass EVERYWHERE. Then there will be those milking machines installed too. After that, we will transport ALL the cows into this facility. If they don't all fit we will proceed with the appropriate procedure for turning cows into steak. There will be a tube system that allows us humans to get down into the pasture to retrieve all of our goods. If the methane becomes unbearable, another system will be installed to retrieve the  goods for us. As for the methane, if we don't get it out of the room all the cows will die, so each cow will have a fart collector attached to its butt, where all the methane will gather. As soon as they are full, the methane will go up the tube attached to the collector and into gas stations and methane will be used as the world's replacement oil because it is very flammable. If this doesn't work then....well...Steak Party???

BUTTONS!!!

I was....about six years old. I had my chocolate brown eyes full of hope, and a head of curly brown-black hair. It was Easter, and I was up bright and early to go and find Easter Eggs. My brothers and I ran all over our house, squealing with delight. Chocolate bunnies and jellybeans later, it was time to go to our Grandma's house for supper. I slowly retreated to my room to get dressed. First I brushed my teeth, the taste of toothpaste not contrasting well with the lingering taste of candy. I then proceeded to brush my tangled hair. THAT was my least favorite part. I then ran over to my closet and threw open the door. There it was. My special, never-worn pink Easter day dress. I giggled with delight as I put it on. It was thoroughly sequined, so I sparkled whenever I walked. The bubblegum-pink fabric felt smooth against my skin. I then put on my light brown cardigan and ran to my parents' room. They smiled as they saw me and gave me a big hug. We then got into our minivan and took off! As we were driving along, I started playing with the buttons on my jacket. Button, unbutton. Button, unbutton. We finally arrived at my Grandma's house. As I ran to give her a hug, the button popped of my cardigan! I stopped running and scrambled to find it on the driveway. I spotted it out of the corner of my eye and picked it up. Then I ran quickly over to my Mother and handed her the button. And that is when I learned to NOT play with the buttons on your jacket.